Years went by, however, and our waistlines either stayed the same or expanded–probably because an increase in calories made up for the absence of fat. It took awhile, but I began to understand that fat-free isn’t calorie-free. Nor is it necessarily healthy!

In truth, your body needs fat. You’ve heard of essential fatty acids? They’re so named because they are, in fact, essential: Your body cannot manufacture them from the food you eat. These fats play an important role in growth and development as well as in the prevention and treatment of chronic diseases. Fat serves other practical purposes as well: It adds flavor to your food and, because it is digested more slowly than other nutrients, keeps you full between meals.

There are three main types of fats: Saturated are the “bad” fats. Typically solid at room temperature, these fats are found mainly in meat and dairy products as well as coconut and palm oils. A diet too high in saturated fat leads to heart disease and cancer. Polyunsaturated fats are in corn, soybean safflower and sunflower oils. Substituting these for saturated fats lowers cholesterol, but too much polyunsaturated fat can promote cancer. “Good” monounsaturated fats also lower cholesterol. They’re found in olive, canola and peanut oils. However, no refined fat is “healthy”; consume these good fats primarily in their most natural state (such as in olives, avocados, nuts and seeds), and use oil only in very small amounts.

Other fats have also recently become household names. Hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated fats are unsaturated fats which have been altered to extend their shelf life. They contain harmful trans fats and should be avoided completely. Cholesterol is a type of fat the body produces (as do the bodies of other animals). Eating cholesterol raises your cholesterol, as does consuming saturated and trans fats. Omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acids are essential polyunsaturated fats. In the typical American diet, omega-6 fats are plentiful while omega-3s are scarce. This dangerous ratio leads to inflammation (a factor present in many chronic diseases), heart disease, stroke, autoimmune diseases, skin diseases and depression. The body cannot make sufficient DHA, another essential omega-3 fat, on a diet high in omega-6 fats and low in omega-3s.

Don’t waste too much energy on how much of each kind of fat is in your food; simply eat a diet rich in a variety of whole, unrefined foods, as close to their most natural state as possible. As mentioned above, the best sources of good fats (including omega-3s) are almonds, walnuts, flaxseed, pumpkin seeds, sunflower kernels and avocados.

Are raw nuts and seeds too expensive at your local grocery store? Buy them in bulk here.

How much fat should you eat per day? If you are overweight and trying to lose weight, it’s okay to consume very little fat while you lose weight, because your body will use what it has stored. But don’t stay on a non-fat or extremely low-fat diet long-term! If you are at a healthy weight and exercise regularly, eat as much as three to four ounces (about 2 small handfuls) of raw nuts or seeds per day, an avocado, or a couple of tablespoons of olive oil. Growing children or someone who has a hard time gaining weight can eat more than that, but it should still be fat in its most natural form. Even if you are healthy and an ideal weight, fat should comprise no more than 30% of your total calorie intake at most; on a 2000-calorie diet, that’s about 600 calories worth. Put another way, about 65 grams.

Any way you look at it, remember that even the healthy fats in avocado, nuts and seeds pack a nine-calorie per gram punch, so if you want to maintain or lose weight, watch your intake. (In contrast, protein and carbohydrates contain only four calories per gram.)

One last bit of fat trivia: The fat on your plate will very easily be converted into body fat. So easily, in fact, that a biopsy of the fat on your waist, hips or thighs would reveal precisely where that fat came from: a pig, a chicken, a hunk of cheese or handful of nuts! Now that’s food for thought…

http://www.npr.org/templates/player/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=120318757&m=120340706

Microbes live in our intestines, helping us to digest foods that we can’t digest on our own. A recent experiment revealed that what we eat influences what kind of microbes become dominant in our intestines, and therefore, what we get out of our food.

Researchers used microbe-free mice and fed them the bacteria found in human intestines, resulting in mice with an intestinal environment similar to that of humans. Then the researchesrs fed the mice healthy, low-fat, plant-rich mouse food. Next they switched the mice to a high-fat, high-sugar diet. In less than 24 hours, the bacteria in the animals’ guts had changed significantly: The community of bacteria restructured itself so that certain members became very dominant and others less so.

Next the researchers put these new altered communities of bacteria into different mice and fed them the healthy, plant-rich mouse food. Despite their healthy diets, these mice gained body fat over the next two weeks.

The reserachers tentatively concluded that the types of microbes in a person’s body may predispose that person to obesity, and even influence what that person gets out of his food. That is, the nutritional facts label found on all foods may not be so absolute. Instead, it may be relative somewhat to what kind of bacteria is dominant in your intestines!

What I would like to know is, what would happen if the study were reversed? What if mice who had the altered bacteria were fed a healthy diet? Or what if the mice who were given the altered intestinal bacteria continued to eat their healthy diet? Wouldn’t their intestinal bacteria again restructure itself, back to its original demographic, so to speak? My education and exeprience with helping people change their diets and lose weight suggests this would be the case, but I can’t say with certainty.

This study begs other questions: What kind of diet did the person eat whose bacteria was originally given to the first set of mice? You may have noticed that men typically have an easier time losing weight than women (not always, but typically); is that partially related to gender-specific bacteria?

Funny how scientific experiments almost never result in an absolute answer, but instead just reveal more things we don’t know.

Nevertheless, this study may shed some light on why it can be difficult for some people to lose weight, or why it requires some people so much more effort than others in order to achieve the same amount of weight loss. It also adds to that list of reasons to consume a healthy diet, based on vegetables, fruits, beans, whole grains and nuts–which is naturally low in fat and refined sugar!

Questions or comments about this article? Contact me here.

The Nutrition Facts panel is usually on the back or side of all packaged foods. The first thing to notice is serving size. Keep in mind that the subsequent nutrition information applies only to one serving, not the whole package. Remember to account for this if you plan to eat the whole package!

Next look at the total calories and calories from fat. Divide the calories from fat by the total number of calories to find the percentage of fat. Avoid foods with more than 20% fat, especially if you need to lose weight. Exceptions to this would be avocado or raw nuts and seeds, which are naturally high in the good fats our bodies need to function properly—but eat these good fats in limited quantities!

Next on the list is fat. Manufacturers are required to list total, saturated and trans fats. Some will also list polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats. Research shows that both saturated and trans fats raise LDL cholesterol (the bad kind).

Next is cholesterol. If your diet is made up of exclusively plant foods, cholesterol is a non-issue because only animal products contain cholesterol.  If you eat animal products, make sure you get no more than 300 mg of cholesterol per day. If you want to lower your cholesterol, eliminating all cholesterol (as well as saturated and trans fats) from your diet is the surest way to success. Your body produces as much cholesterol as you need, so any you get in your diet can elevate your cholesterol.

When it comes to sodium, your processed foods should contain less than one mg per calorie, and not more than 140 mg total per serving. Even “health foods” can be high in sodium because it is in so many of the additives used in processing. A high-sodium diet is the primary cause of high blood pressure; to lower your blood pressure and minimize your risk of stroke and heart disease, consume no more than 1000 mg of sodium per day.

When evaluating carbohydrates, look for foods with at least 3 grams of fiber per 100 calories. If you have diabetes, subtract the grams of fiber from the total carbohydrates for the number of “available carbohydrates,” or those that will elevate your blood sugar.

With all the high-protein hype these days, you may think protein is the most important nutrient. Studies in the 1950s showed that we only need 20 to 35 grams of protein per day. All your protein needs are easily obtainable on a plant-based diet. Even vegans routinely consume 60 to 80 grams of protein per day. Outside of North America, most of the world’s protein intake comes from plants. Where do you think the cow got its protein? The elephant? The gorilla? The world’s largest land mammals are primarily herbivores. Plants contain all the protein you need!

Finally, read the ingredient list carefully. Ingredients are listed in order by weight from most to least, so the first one to three ingredients comprise the bulk of the product. Avoid foods with sugar in the first three ingredients or with multiple forms of sugar. Corn syrup, brown rice syrup, evaporated cane juice, honey, fructose and sucrose are all forms of sugar. Only brown rice and oats are typically used in their whole form, so if the word “whole” is not before each other grain listed, your food is not whole grain. Words such as “enriched,” “milled,” “de-germed” or even “wheat flour” do NOT mean whole grain. Unless it says “whole” in the ingredients, wheat bread is simply white bread with a tan. If your product contains vegetable shortening or partially hydrogenated oils of any kind, it will contain trans fats. Don’t buy the product if it contains any ingredient you don’t recognize or can’t pronounce.

Though making sense of the Nutrition Facts labels may seem daunting, with a little practice you can unravel the mystery. And remember, fill your grocery cart with foods without labels!

What we like is largely a product of what we’re used to. Teaching kids to enjoy healthy foods gives them an advantage for the rest of their lives.

Conveniently, the same diet is good for you and your kids. Just being a vegetarian isn’t good enough, though; a veggie hot dog on a white bun loaded with mayonnaise, ketchup and pickle relish is not a high-nutrient food and will not significantly reduce disease risk. You must consume foods that are naturally high in nutrients: whole, unrefined vegetables, fruits, beans, grains, nuts and seeds. If you eat animal products, refined foods or sweets, make those the exception rather than the rule.

Build your diet around foods that are as close to their most natural state as possible—steamed broccoli instead of broccoli cheddar soup, whole olives rather than olive oil. Think of it as eating low on the food chain—the greens themselves rather than the cow that ate them, or instead of the cheese made from the milk that came from the cow… You get the idea.

Your example is crucial; you must model good eating choices. If your child sees you eat a bowl of ice cream, she’ll want ice cream. If she sees you eat a fruit smoothie, she’ll want a smoothie. Set a good example and she’ll follow you.

Teach your kids why healthy eating is important. Start a discussion over the dinner table about why what you’re eating is good for you. Tell them you eat healthy because you love them and care about their future; let kids give feedback and share how they feel about it too.

Make your house a safe haven. It’s much easier to make good choices when there aren’t any alternatives! The decision to eat healthy starts at the grocery store. If your child is a picky eater, replace all unhealthy foods in your house with nutritious ones. Your child will not starve himself to death; if only healthy foods are available, he will eat healthy foods.

Get creative at incorporating vegetables into your meals. Blend frozen fruit with a little soymilk or orange juice and throw in a handful of fresh spinach or kale. Serve it in an opaque, covered cup with a colored straw and your kids will never know they’re eating vegetables. Chop kale, collards or spinach greens and add them to pasta sauce. Stuff a pita pocket with salad or shredded vegetables. Bake shredded zucchini, carrots or beets into cookies and cakes. Do your kids want pizza? Rather than ordering out, use whole wheat pita bread to make personal veggie pizzas. Have a contest to see who can use the least amount of cheese, or leave it off completely and pile on the veggies.

Plant a garden and let each child have a corner where they choose what to grow and are responsible for tending; they’ll be much more likely to eat what they’ve grown themselves. If a garden isn’t an option, have a few pots on your deck. Or, take your kids to a nearby farm to pick your produce.

Does preparing a healthy meal take more time than the drive-thru? Absolutely. But that time is an investment in the future. And if we believe our bodies are God’s temples, that time can become a sacred ritual of worship.

Setting an example goes for exercise, too. If kids see their parents in a regular exercise program, an active lifestyle becomes their norm. Make sure kids have the equipment they need—bicycles, helmets, roller blades—to engage in activities they enjoy. Choose age-appropriate activities that fit your child’s personality: Little League for the athlete, biking around the block for the casual athlete, swinging at the park for the non-athlete.

With childhood obesity and early type 2 diabetes on the rise, it’s increasingly important to watch what kids are eating and make sure they’re getting enough exercise. Our future is shaped by our childhood. If you’ve tried to change your lifestyle, you can appreciate how challenging it can be. Give your kids the advantage of a healthy diet and an active lifestyle now, and disease-proof them for life!

Here’s a little about my own journey.

I love sweets. One Friday evening in about 1997, I invited a bunch of friends over for a dessert potluck. Yes, it was exactly what it sounds like–the only thing on the menu was dessert! I remember having a vague sense that I enjoyed the various “dishes” more than anyone else. Though I grew up in a vegetarian household in which eating anything from an animal source was a taboo leading surely to death, fatty, sugary desserts abounded. Really, my parents did the best they knew at the time. In our defense, it wasn’t until the ’90s that fat became a villain, and the early ’00s when carbs appeared in the spotlight. Nevertheless, even knowing the evils of fat and refined sugar, I still struggle against a sweet tooth, and sometimes I give in all too willingly. (Just ask my in-laws, who keep more sugar around their house than I do at mine, so I invariably sugar-binge whenever I’m there! Or my husband, who frequently hears me say at the end of a meal, “I want something sweet!”) I used to curl my lip in disgust when I’d go out to eat with friends and they’d order salads as their entrees. At the boarding academy where I attended high school, I served as an RA in the dorm my junior and senior year. In our nightly (late-night) meetings, the dean fed us homemade treats regular basis. From a friend I made my junior year of high school, I learned how easy it is to sit and eat a whole bag of something. I don’t recount these stories to lay blame, just to let you know where I’ve been. (And even sometimes, still am…) Needless to say, I gained some weight that year.

I’m still not perfect, by any means. But my eating habits have greatly improved over the years–it’s not unusual for me now to order a salad for my entree! So the point of sharing my journey is to show that you can change too! And to prove it, I’m going to get real detailed about my current journey…

Because lately, in the last few weeks before my wedding last April and on the honeymoon and then in the first months of settling into a new routine of married life, I’ve let my discipline slip. Preoccupied with everything else that’s been going on, I’ve given in to my sweet tooth and instant gratification much more willingly. And I have to say, my cravings for sweet stuff only intensify the more I give in!

Here’s another example of my current battle: I’ve determined that part of my “grand opening” for this blog is that I’ll keep a food log. I really think that one of the reasons (besides my fear and self-doubt) I’ve dragged my feet about getting this up and going is that I’m embarrassed to log what I’ve been eating, and I’m reluctant to change back to the healthier habits I’ve had in the past!

So, I have two reasons for posting a food log here. First, to give you ideas. As a wellness coach, clients frequently ask me, “What do you eat?” This food log will show you what I eat, and hopefully give you some ideas for yourself. I make no claims of eating perfectly, I like my ice cream and my quesadillas just as much as the next guy. But I do strive to make healthy choices every day, and to keep those treats as exceptions rather than the rule.

Secondly, this gives me someone to be accountable to! Any time you keep a record of what you’re doing, you’re more likely to be conscientious about what you’re doing. Even better, if I know you’re going to see what I’m eating, I make healthier choices! (Last time I did this I lost 5 pounds without even trying–just because I was making slightly better choices!) 

My goals are:

1. Eat at least one salad every day.
2. Eat an additional serving of fresh or cooked vegetables every day.
3. Eat 3-4 servings of fruit every day.
4. Keep my dairy (cheese, eggs, sour cream, yogurt, ice cream etc) intake to no more than twice a week.
5. Keep my refined sugar intake to no more than twice a week.

Beginning July 26, I plan to keep this food log for 4 weeks alongside an exercise log. For interest sake, I’ll be keeping track of any changes in my BMI and waist size as well. Watch for corresponding recipes, too.

After the initial 4 weeks, I’ll continue blogging meals I thought were particularly good and healthy, things my husband especially liked, or traditional meals for special occasions which I made healthier than usual (like Thanksgiving or Christmas).

Health information appears daily in the media nationwide. You’d have to be living in a closet not to know what’s good for you. For most of us, ignorance isn’t the problem. So if we know what to do, why don’t we do it? The apostle Paul knew this struggle: “For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.” (Romans 7:15)

“There are individuals whose minds are prepared to recognize the importance of things that unprepared minds ignore or throw away,” say James Prochaska, John Norcross and Carlo DiClemente in their book Changing for Good. These researchers uncovered a predictable pattern of change by studying thousands of individuals who changed successfully.

Successful “self-changers” followed this pattern whether they overcame smoking, depression, low self-esteem, or obesity. Precontemplators typically deny their problem and resist change. Contemplators acknowledge their problem and, though perhaps not ready to act, know what overcoming it will take. When they begin to contemplate the solution rather than the problem, they progress into preparation, intending to act within the next month. The action stage begins when they make the move they’ve prepared for. However, without maintenance, relapses to contemplation or precontemplation often occur. A maintenance plan is crucial to long-term success. Finally, successful maintenance leads to termination: the problem is solved when they have reached the criteria that eliminate risk (i.e., smoking cessation, ideal body weight, or cholesterol below 200).

This six-stage program offers hope to previously unsuccessful self-changers. Prochaska and his associates also discovered distinct processes used during each stage, giving the self-changer control over the cycle of change: Learn what stage you are in and apply the appropriate processes for that stage. It’s not about having the willpower to say “no”; it’s about making use of every available tool. Even those who aren’t ready to act can begin the process.

How does this research relate to health? People who feel they have tried everything without success often resign themselves to “fate”. Others believe their health is pre-determined by genetics, and their actions don’t matter. But this concept is not Biblical. “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” Galatians 6:7 Thousands of studies reveal the link between our choices and our health. Heredity loads the gun, lifestyle pulls the trigger! The leading causes of death in America are lifestyle-related. These and many other diseases can be prevented, even reversed, through nutritional excellence and regular exercise.

Your first step is to assess what stage you’re in.

1.      Did you solve your problem more than six months ago?

2.      Did you take action on your problem within the past six months?

3.      Do you intend to take action in the next month?

4.      Do you intend to take action in the next six months?

Precontemplators answer no to all four questions. Contemplators answer yes only to question 4. People in the preparation stage answer yes to 3 and 4. Those in the action stage answer yes to 2, and those in maintenance answer yes to question 1.

Next apply the appropriate processes. Precontemplators and contemplators use consciousness-raising to recognize their problem and learn more about the topic. What risks does your behavior entail? How have others overcome a similar problem?

Precontemplators begin using social liberation and continue through the action stage. Social liberation involves modifying your environment to facilitate change. For example, instituting a no-smoking area at home or work.

Emotional arousal and self-reevaluation are employed during contemplation and preparation. Emotional arousal may be a sudden emotional experience surrounding your problem, alerting you to your defenses against change. Self-reevaluation involves careful analysis of your problem. What might life be like if you overcame it? Does your behavior conflict with your values?

Commitment begins in preparation and must be maintained through action and maintenance. Commitment involves stating, privately and publicly, that you are choosing to change. Doing so acknowledges that you, not your circumstances or other people, are responsible for your behavior.

Use rewards during action and maintenance to recognize your hard work! Rewards can be simply self-praise, or a purchase made with money you might otherwise have spent on your problem behavior.

Countering, environment control, and helping relationships facilitate your change during action, maintenance and beyond. Countering substitutes new behaviors for the one you want to overcome. Environment control involves changing your environment to encourage healthy behaviors and discourage your problem behavior. Self-change does not preclude the encouragement and nurturing of a support system. Whether they be your family, friends, church or a formal support group, helping relationships are vital to your success.

Whatever your goals—lose weight, exercise regularly, save money, or floss daily—you have more than “willpower”, you have the tools for success!

The Six Stages of Change Are

• Precontemplation
• Contemplation
• Preparation
• Action
• Maintenance
• Termination

Adapted from Changing For Good: A revolutionary six-stage program for overcoing bad habits and moving your life positively forward by James O. Prochaska, Ph.D., John C. Norcross, Ph.D., and Carlo C. DiClemente, Ph.D. 

“Dairy products are far from the solution, and may very well be a cause of the problem,” says Anna Quisel, M.D. in an article about osteoporosis. The dairy industry has done a terrific job of convincing the public that drinking milk is the key to adequate calcium consumption and strong bones. However, the calcium in dairy products is not as easily absorbed by the body as is the calcium in plant foods. But many people are unaware that calcium is even available in any other foods. Moreover, dairy products pose a host of undesirable risks.

Milk is touted as protection against osteoporosis. When calcium levels in the blood get low, little cells are activated that begin to break down bone tissue and release calcium. When calcium levels in the blood are high, the little cells that build bone are activated and they begin to store calcium. It seems simple: Want strong bones? Consume more calcium. But it’s actually a bit more complicated.

As it turns out, countries such as the U.S. and Canada where diets are highest in calcium also have the highest rates of osteoporotic bone fractures. In a typical American diet, calcium comes from milk, milk products and supplements. In Japan, daily calcium intake is less than in the U.S. and it comes from soy products and vegetables. Yet Japanese women have fewer hip fractures. How can this be?

One reason is that animal proteins tend to pull calcium from the bones and excrete it in the urine; plant proteins do not have this effect. Another reason is that while milk may appear to have more calcium when compared by serving size to other sources such as leafy green vegetables or soy beans, less of the calcium found in dairy products is absorbed than that found in plant foods. Consider a one-hundred calorie serving of skim milk; it has 334 mg of calcium, but only 107 mg—approximately one-third—are absorbed. In contrast, 100 calories of kale or bok choy offer 449 mg and 787 mg of calcium, respectively. More than half of the calcium in these nutrient-rich foods—59% of kale’s calcium and 54% of bok choy’s—is absorbed by the body! Plant foods also contain magnesium, which the body uses along with calcium to build bone.

The following table lists other nutrient-rich sources of calcium:

Besides their extra calcium availability, these foods don’t carry the problematic milk sugars and proteins found in dairy products. Milk proteins are the leading cause of food allergies. Found even in low fat and fat free dairy products, these proteins may cause an immune system response that has been linked to severe cases of atherosclerosis, or hardening of the arteries. A similar immune response has also been linked to Type I diabetes; in fact, there is a direct correlation between Type I diabetes and the amount of dairy products consumed. For some people, immune responses to dairy products may aggravate rheumatoid arthritis; many individuals have found that eliminating these foods from their diets reduces rheumatoid arthiritis symptoms. Because milk is deficient in iron and can even bind with the iron in other food sources and prevent its absorption, milk is the number one cause of iron-deficiency anemia in children. The lack of fiber in dairy products is another count against them; low-fiber diets lead to constipation, varicose veins, hemorrhoids, hiatal hernias, and colon cancer. Growth hormones injected into dairy cows raise the levels of a substance called IGF-1 which may increase the risk of certain cancers. Even low fat dairy products contain saturated fat, the culprit in both heart attacks and cancers, the two leading causes of death in America. The hormones and saturated fat in milk and milk products can also worsen symptoms of both PMS and menopause. Recall the plant-based Japanese diet? The Japanese don’t even have a word for hot flashes!

Compared calorie for calorie, milk just doesn’t stack up. The healthiest sources of calcium are leafy green vegetables and legumes. Build your diet around vegetables and fruits, limiting the use of animal products to one or two servings per week.

I used to work as a wellness coach for a Christian organization which, among other things, actively promoted the health and well-being of its members. In a department meeting one day, my boss asked us these questions: Does it matter to God whether we are healthy or not? And why do we, as health educators, focus so much on nutrition and exercise when health and wellness actually encompass so much more than that?

Christians are well-acquainted with the concept of our bodies as a temple in which the Holy Spirit dwells. (1 Corinthians 6:19, 20) Beyond a moral obligation to health, a well-nourished and fit body allows you to “do” the rest of life much more effectively.

Good nutrition and physical fitness lay the foundation for health and wellness. Rather than being clouded by pain and discomfort, the mind of a fit and healthy person is clear and can pursue other things—such as listening for God’s voice and discovering the individual purpose to which God calls each one of us. Moreover, healthy people live longer! And they experience a higher quality of life in their later years. That means a healthy person will be around longer to accomplish his individual God-given purpose. Additionally, statistics show that healthy employees miss fewer days of work and are significantly more productive on the job. That means a healthy person can accomplish more of her individual God-given purpose!

Now, if in fact your health matters to God, then doesn’t that make being healthy in and of itself a part of His purpose for your life?

As a wellness coach, I frequently hear the “too busy” excuse for not exercising or not eating well. In all honesty, I’ve used the excuse myself! As if what I have on my to-do list is so much more important than what God asks me to do! In that staff meeting, my former boss made another significant point: God will never ask you to accomplish more than is humanly possible in the amount of time He gives you. In other words, there is always enough time to do what God asks you to do. He not only calls you to an individual purpose, but He provides you with the resources necessary to accomplish that purpose: time, energy, talents, money, and the support of family, friends and other believers. We each get 24 hours a day; if He wants us to be healthy, then there is no such thing as not having time to exercise and eat healthy—unless we are focused on the wrong things.

That begs the question: If I am consistently unable to find time to exercise and eat healthy, what is filling my time that might be outside of God’s will, and why? What keeps us from exercising and eating healthy when we know it’s so essential to living well, and may even be part of God’s purpose for our lives?

For one thing, Satan’s oldest, most common (and effective!) ploy is to keep us so busy doing “good” things that we neglect the “best” things. We become “humans doing” rather than human beings.

We all have what you might call a peanut gallery of people watching our lives, whose expectations we try to fill. Who is in your gallery? It may be your dead grandmother, your spouse, your boss, your parents, your children, your neighbors… How much are these people’s expectations, spoken or unspoken, shaping your life? What things are you trying to accomplish that you might be able to let go of and still be doing what God asks you to do?

A good friend and former professor of mine explained once that she begins her day by making a to-do list of the things she wants to accomplish that day. Pausing a moment before rushing out to attack the list, she prays over it. “God, please help me to accomplish what you want me to accomplish today. Help me to let go of what’s on this list that is not important to You, and be open to the new things that present themselves that are important to You.”

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1, 2

Consider whose expectations are influencing your daily decisions, what you’re trying to accomplish that may be “good” but not “best”, and how you might arrange your life to better accomplish God’s purpose for you—and be sure to make time to build a healthy foundation!